I was talking to my nurse this morning about those highly realistic solid silicone sex dolls. I said I'd thought about getting one as a "photographic model".

He said that when he'd been in Japan there'd been coffee shops where one could pay to be seated next to one. There was some jocularity on the subject of people talking to inanimate objects. He said that it was a new (japanese) invention.

I laughed at him, I said"Ha! what about all those twats who talk to crucifixes and swear their invisible friend in the sky talks back?" ( of course I didn't say "twats"- but used another word, equally unflattering)

He took my point in good form, laughed and was unoffended (he is a good nurse and like me sails the wide apostasea).

I said "I love blaspheming!"

he said "yes I can see that. They'd be offended having their crucifixes compared to sex dolls! I laughed. "what about the other mob?"

"What other mob?"

"The ones who'd be insulted by having their sex dolls compared to crucifixes!"

We both cracked up

Transa carnaval a Louca
This film takes the common "tried and true" paradigm of tranny porn (and porn generally) and turns it onto its head.It abandons the three minute "quick sank ideal of the old school porno industry ; a hangover of the length of super-8 loops (discussed elsewhere in this blog and discards it instead for the "meditation sank paradigm" of a person to wants to engage in long periods of "tantric wanking"(where orgasm is not a race/important. Its a very pleasant change. The film takes the form of a  documentary camera at a  large carnival party for "differently sexed" clientele; Anyone who has been to a big party will no the ethos, all sorts of shenanigans in the corners while the unimaginative or inhibited  dance themselves to death under the lights; This is a pretty respectable party though, there are people having sex right on the dance floor, on the tables, brazenly, shamelessly, outrageously. It's a fun party, and its fun to watch, after a time you realise the truth. If places like this exist on Earth, and at least this one obviously did(at least for a day or so; then all those "values" you were brought up with were and are rubbish, because here in front of you is a whole *other* set of values and, not to mince words, these values are obviously- better Then, with much drama you reach orgasm. And, you can take it from me, it probably won't be a normal orgasm. After all, how could you expect it to be? You've probably been lolling around, masturbating and thinking increasingly frenzied and rebellious thoughts for upwards of an hour; when you finally cross the line into the glories of tantric orgasmland the effects are likely to be noticeable, indeed, they could get you in the eye, or stain the ceiling.-recommended. Indeed, its highly recommended.

the politics of porno.

I was just wandering around in RedTube(as one does) and, after I had become fatigued by all the crap, typed "Rodox"into the search box, after all I blithered to myself in the absence on good porn, add a dash of nostalgia for those well-spent(and spent again) days of my youth. There was one hit.one, it started playing the girl had pubic hair. I stretched back in my wheelchair, fixed my beady pink eyes on the screen of my phone (Which I had propped up for clarity of vision cleared my throat (ahem) and started watching. Bad dialogue in appalling cockney accents. girl with a hairdo that bypassed 'quaint' on the way to 'vintage. ' sucked the penis of one of the young men. Cut to title.
A full screen of plain dark green overlaid with the words "Arsehole Party". my thoughts instantly leap from porno to politics, specifically thFederal"Liberal" party and our current recumbent, Tony Abbott. I instantly lose all interest in porno and in wanking. I lose my engorgement as I feel my gorge rise. The change in my mood and hormone balance is so sudden, and so violent, that I am shocked into a loud donkey bray of laughter.I drop my dick, since in my train of thought, it now lacks a valid ticket to ride and  risks being done over by the railway cops the train enters the tunnel. It is red. s

under a rock

the other day, I did a google image search for "Simpsons porn" I make no apologies for this, I was at a "loose end" (hem hem), and wanted a sank. I was also in a funny mood, I didn't want all the detail of conventional photographic porn which I often find to be distracting so anyway,  I got on with it(as you do). The image search produced a broad spectrum of images and immediately (having been permanently damaged by a university degree in english literature and stuff)  I noticed things I found interesting about the results First, and in a way most surprising was that most of the results did not feature Mr and Mrs Simpson enjoying in the "conjugal rights" bestowed on them by "holy wedlock rather the whole town seemed to have been turned ion a crazy (almost nightmarish sex-orgy where every recognisable character had sex with every other, usually with nasty overtones perhaps most worryingly a consistent theme was Bart inexplicably "upgraded" to being a teenager fucking his sister Lisa (also aged to sexual "maturity" These images worried me. The series itself is quite clear Bart(the older brother) is still in short pants and at the "loveable scamp" stage of childhood- somewhere between eight and thirteen years old, most emphatically not a teenager, so why was he represented as such in these ( in some cases pretty good) pictures? and videos Seriously; VIDEOS! ( some people have way too much free time) Firstly, I'd guess, no-one would take an eight year old seriously as a sister fucker, and still less a mother fucker and fewer still such ideas as worthy targets for masturbation.No, due to the size of the boys penis' and prepubescent status as a child an "honorary girl "such boys are if they are perceived in anyway sexually as "priest bait" and as catamites where they are the passive prey of pederasts. In this way 'upgrading Bart to teenager makes far more creative elbow room" for the pornographi scenario maker. now, instead of simply being buggered in frame after frame by everyone  from the Reverend Lovejoy to Willy the groundskeeper  Bart can pork right back! Hs mother, his sister, his teacher! no vaginal lips need remain unparted! the possibilities for creating sexy transgressive sex scenarios are vastly expanded! Not to mention that if the viewr makes the imaginary leap with the creator the vision of this new teenage Bart fucking his next door neighbours wife seems a lot less like child pornography than the "real"Bart Simpson doing anything sxual -at all. Consequently anyone who "inadvertently views such porn  and who may be moved to accident ally sank over it after having unciously created a secret password protected, encrypted folder for it need not feel TOO guilty since, after all it isn' Kiddie Porn- not really the issue here though is that the "water is muddied "bart Simpson"( a fictional character) "IS" about 8 years old- and therefore porno images of him (as cartoony as he is, are in Australian law, childpornography(with slap meals for the entire investigating team, high fives all around , a documentary crew under the table and a tele movie after the novelisation- except in this case Bart Simpson, (still fictitious is now 16Can you picture the lawyers arguing THAT one out?-was the defendant turned on by, and wanking to, something that WASN'T in front of him? Or by something which was, and was legal. Complicated, no? It makes my head hurt, and I haven't even been wanking- well, not recently, anyhow

under a Rock.

the other day, in a quiet time I found myself thinking about Porno (as you do) specifically, I found myself thinking about porn based around the cartoon series of "The Simpsons" and; more to the point, the structure and evolution of Simpsons porn. you see, back in my wasted youth I was badly infected by a tertiary degree, the debilitating effects of an arts degree with a major in Englisg literature hang around for decades. I left university back in …um…1986 and when confronted with Simpsons based porn I couldn't simply respond to the raw stimulus, a google image search for "simpsons porn get horny and sank, I had to analyse!right away I noticed the bleeding obvious(as you do)

george clooney

AFter a shaky start to his career, George Clooney has re-invented himself as a ver fine actor, to the point where he is, without any doubt (in my mind at least, in the lead fpr the title of best, worldwide. the thing about acting though is that it is a tricksy craft- simply put, to be well done, the craft should be invisible. One should be so swept up in the con that one is unaware that there *is* a con. When one sits back and marvells at the artistry of the con artist and the  con cannot be described as having really ***worked.*But back to George Clooney. Mr Clooney is either blessed, or perhaps cursed with extreme good looks.Back in the old days back when E.R was the big new thing on T.Vand when jiggling the camera up-and-down had only just been invented to simulate "gritty realism"back then, George Clooney was younger and head surgeon in the hospital of "gritty realism" Back then acting wasn't that important; Bsck then Mr Clooney was dashing head surgeon and his good looks were enough to carry the day, and across the world millions, billions of women still sheilded the glow of their girlish fantasies and one day  loving the head surgeon. And, ladies and gentlemen , of such massedemotional resonances are bomber ratings made, In fact, back in the long ago past, I still remember a long table composed of one big interlocked puddle of spilt beer and a group of something like twelve female co-workers all British-Irish, all fans of the show,all payday-pissed, all proclaimining the greatness of George clooney's acting in such uncensored earthy terms that my young ears burned with embarrassment and my head spun with the fact that embarrassment and beer do not mix well.Neither, for that matter, does beer and complex thought* this too, contributed to the general feelings of vertigo, and I knew that if I thought too much I would fall over. I was still functional enough to know that, since I was sitting down, this would result in me either falling off my prized chair in the crowded"railway view" pub or falling face forwards into the surface of the table, where I could easily drown in the ashtray."These girls are HORRIBLE! I blithered to myself "And to think; I actually wanted to FUCK them! i looked up the table at Rachel, a blonde who actually intended moving into nursing and tried hard to find any remnants of my initial attraction to her, but they had vanished with her loud explicit diatribe on the subject of "george clooney"- cut, or uncut? it had gotten pretty rank there for a bit an had made me doubr rhat her appreciation "as an actor, ran very deep snd, as far as my withered ex-attraction for her went, I was glad that I was me and not George clooney, because the ide of fighting off the delightful Rachel was bad enough, but this whole drunken crew, moistened up by beer, with their minds foccussed on pack rape was too horrible to contemplate. the idea of me, as Mr clooney, being pursued down the street on foot (in the pouring rain) was pretty horrible.By comparison, the evening ahead of me that I was constructing in my mind, consisting of a couple of quiet games of pinball a few hours alone on the couch drinking tea and reading a book, seemed like heaven. real heaven. I goy up and walked home.