First,find an axe to grind.

probably the most difficult part of keeping a blog is working out what to crap on about each time one is presented with thempty "typing hole" If you are a political of course, the choice is simple: you instantly give vent to the outrage and disgust you feel at the latest failing of your opposition, (whoever thy may be) after all, everyone knows that the very fabric of reality itself will be torn down the middle by tmethodist centrist party's changes to traffic flow on main street, ButtGrape, USA. IF of course. you aren't political, the choice is harder, If you are entirely self-obsessed you can wax lyrical about your butt grapes and hope that the world is as interested in them as you are; and, of course, the world being the world, it probably will be. And, should you be inspired to give one of you butt grapes a lightning- bolt scar on its forehead and some laughably bad dialog set in a paltry plot you can simply sit still and await the adulation that you are sure to be swamped with.before you know it you'll be digging a tunnel to the doorthrough the drifts of money and award statuettes you've been swamped with to a cursory examination(though I've restrained myself from cursing, at least so far) the choices for what to write about seem pretty simple. politics, or gazing into on's navel until it resembles a rectumand a different form of excrement flows freely.the risk here being of course that your round and all seeing eye may be popped directly in the pupil by a pointy lump of hardened truth and rendered less round, and blindLet this come as a warning people;be careful of the peepholes you select to espy the truth! The gods guard their secrets jealously and care nothing for the likes of you. Sso, should you have your eye pressed firmly to your spy hole don't become too distracted by what you may see and instead keep your ears open for any intestinal rumblings that may portend the arrival of a speeding blog After all you would be far from being the first writer who'd rendered themselves blind in the search for in spiration. Of course. I was one of the lucky ones, Iread the writing on the wall (while I was busy writing on it myself, and I stopped while Ionly needed glasses... but of course, they"re ones f**k of a prescription And, on that note, I'll go away before I outlast your patients.And, of course, you aren't much of a doctor, now are you?